One more day of walking. Tomorrow, if all goes well, and I don't drop anymore beer bottles on my feet, we will take our final steps into Santiago and arrive at the tomb of St. James, the end of this pilgrimage. Oh yay!
Appropriately, today is also the feast of St. Mary Magdalen. Why is this appropriate?
Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb.
So she ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, "They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don't know where they put him."
So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb.
They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first;
he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in.
When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there,
and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place.
Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed.
For they did not yet understand the scripture that he had to rise from the dead.
Then the disciples returned home.
But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping.
(John 20:1-11)
Why does Mary Magdalen remain outside the empty tomb weeping? She herself answers this question for us:
"Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him."
(John 20:13)
Mary Magdalen weeps because she longs so ardently to see Jesus. She weeps in holy anticipation of seeing Jesus and for love of Him.
Preaching on this Gospel, Pope Saint Gregory the Great speaks about holy desires:
"When our desires are not satisfied, they grow stronger, and becoming stronger they take hold of their object. Holy desires likewise grow with anticipation, and if they do not grow they are not really desires."
This time of pilgrimage has certainly been a test of my desires. Do I really desire to make this pilgrimage to the tomb of St. James? Do I really desire holiness? Enough to keep walking, day after day after day? And at times when these desires seem weak, what happened? What can I do to help them grow, if they are indeed good and holy desires? I have learned that Pope St. Gregory is right--as the anticipation of reaching the end of our pilgrimage (TOMORROW) grows, my real desires grow stronger through growing anticipation, and my false desires fade away. Sometimes, this is a surprising reality check. Why? Because when desires that I really like and that I thought were "really desires" fade away, I have to choose to let them go in order to let my God-given holy desires "grow stronger, and...take hold of their object."
Woah these pilgrimage graces. I am going to need some grace to respond to graces recieved! For how to respond to grace, we can also look to St. Mary Magdalen. Pope St. Gregory the Great says that "we should reflect on Mary (Magdalen's) attitude and the great love she felt for Christ." The only way we can truly deny our false desires is if we are so overcome with love for Jesus that, like St. Mary Magdalen, we remain outside the tomb weeping in anticipation of possessing Him. While we remain in love with Jesus, our false desires fade. If we are truly in love, we will be able to give up these false desires because we will be able to see that we really don't want them, that they really are false desires.
Basically, we have have to live in love with Jesus. This is necessary both to be able to see our desires as they truly are and to act on what we see. Boom. Thanks, St. Mary Magdalen!!! Bring on the final day of pilgrimage, and the continuation of our daily pilgrimage to heaven!
+JMJ+
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